I’m ashamed of
- how I don’t give myself enough credit
- my need to get recognition from others and still not believe it
- my inability to commit to anything, even my word doesn’t have enough clout to it anymore
- straying from God any chance I get and when I feel I really need him, come crawling back begging for my way to happen
- regretting most decisions
I’m proud of
- how strong a person I’ve become given the most saddest events in my life
- the love of Christ in my life and knowing, that even though I’m not the best follower, he still loves me.
- having the family that I have. We’re not as close anymore, but we’re just a phone call away.
- that I look like my mother and that I had her for as long as I did. She was the best person and kindest loving Christian woman you would have ever met, and I’m proud that she has influenced my life the way she has.
I come into contact with people directly and indirectly that permeate the love of Christ so much that I start to grow envious and jealous of such devotion, but I push that aside and try to better my relationship with Christ. I also want to be around those people, fellowship with them, be friends so I can reinforce myself and kept those with the same passion around… but of course that never works because I’m terrible at making friends/keeping friends and staying afloat in the light without some obstacle to throw me off. We’re born imperfect and that imperfection is my handicap and crutch sometimes.
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